Radlett Adult Parties

Radlett is one of the UK's most well established and popular swinging parties. Perfect for newbies and experienced swingers alike. Call us on 07986 288580

Bulletin

Theme:  all themes here are optional to accommodate the shy and those without time/blood sugars to be bothered.  However for those that do join in, think Hugh Hefner; bunny girls; decadence with style; slinky dresses.

New website.  One reason the website was sometimes a little in arrears was that the content management system we used was vintage.  The new site has pretty much the same universally approved content but is much easier to update and gives much improved statistics.  Well into 3 figures of visitors to the site each day have already represented most continents.

BBC 3 Counties interview.  For those missed 10 am on Friday 7/2/14, BBC have put some of the video interview to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJkuA35X8D4&feature=share&list=UU1Il0X5sERN_g8bEizUgahg.  Thanks to all of you who phoned in to kick into touch those sad repressives who were ‘stomach-churned’ by the prospect of having to let their hair down.

Filling the parties.  We have learned to bite our lips when urgent new revellers phone up to ask ‘will there be enough people there to make it worth my while?’  In case anyone out there sees it as our responsibility to pack our home out on party nights, herewith the history.  We used to throw one or at most two parties a year.  With a week or so to the next party crowds of people who I don’t believe I had ever met would shake my hand as if we were good friends and ask us to throw them weekly.  I underlined politely that the expense would exhaust us so people offered to cover costs.  The compromise was to entertain monthly with guests either helping with repairs or making a contribution.  The average gap between attendances was then 1.1 months.  It is now nearly 12 months!  Thus the 200 attendees that used to happen are not likely to repeat.  I have several directorships and have (when it suits me) intermittent asperger’s syndrome, making me provocatively disinterested in human interaction (excepting riveting and/or undressed women).  Janet more than compensates with her garrulousness but is gone 13 hours a day to a demanding job in London.  Thus we are not well placed to market.  Sorry guys.  If the parties here aren’t packed enough for you then YOU do the marketing.  Invite at least one new couple each month to join you.  Bring your sister(s).  Show your secretaries the web site.  Swamp the chat rooms with your experiences.  Send us reference notes which we will anonymise then post.  Offer to take over the twitter and face book maintenance.  Remember that over 70% of active adults would enjoy this, but leave the uglies for the other venues!

House works.  Think of Radlett parties as a type of (gentile!) kibbutz.  Make and mend is recognised as a valuable contribution.  One of our revellers is working on a plan to save the pool enclosure from the nearby wall which leans ever more worryingly.  Tiles were blown off the roof in recent gales.  Anyone up to putting them back?  TV aerial specialists also please declare yourselves.  Tree pruners for the orchard?

Gazebo replaces grape vine.  A 30 hour bonfire put paid to the last remnants of the 25 year old vine.  Smokers have been treated to the most robust gazebo Amazon had to offer.  The shame is that our worst storm arrived the night after it was assembled so the intervening month has been spent doing the engineering necessary to reinstate the upturned mangled wreckage of the morning after.  More engineering has improved the structure further since last month.

 

Asians.  We do our best to be inclusive of all demographics regardless of race or creed, but you will see from one of the reference letters that Asians need to work a bit harder following her observations:

Hi Richard and Janet

I had a mind blowing experience last Friday! Thank you so much for offering such a wonderful opportunity for people you don’t even know. I enjoyed the food, met nice people and some sexy people:-) It was great.

I thought I ought to let you know one little episode that I didn’t like. There was a moment when I was not very active and I thought I’d go upstairs and watch the film. While I was in the room alone, two Indian guys came in and locked the door behind them. They then asked me to have a 3some. I said no and they insisted until I shouted and left the room. They should not have locked the door without asking me. I found that offensive and threatening. Although I had no doubt if I had shouted people outside the door would come to my rescue and you would have thrown those two guys out with no mercy.

I will make sure that I won’t find myself in a room on my own again.

Indians used to be the good guys, not to be confused with the Muslims with their duplicitous division of women into their ‘own domestic breeding receptacles’ and ‘fallen European trash’.  However the above experience does remind us of some of the noxious headlines coming out of the sub-continent: girl gang raped to death on a bus; village elders arrested for gang raping a girl who fell in love outside the village.  That weirdo (madguru I think it was) who wrote on fab swingers that radlett was a ‘con’ because you had not supplied (in his view) enough women that fancied him the night he went serves to underline that Indians need to lift their act if we are not going to shun venues that admit them.  I know you work hard to be inclusive at your venue, but surely enough is enough?

J

Note from the venue: Sorry about that.  Our 102 line checklist in the 2 day run up to parties includes removing the door keys.  That was not done.  We will add interview grilling for Indians as well as Muslims for the foreseeable future.

New Year’s Eve.  Our commiserations to all those who could not make NYE here.  The appended reviews tell it more credibly than we could.

Hello and happy new year,

Would just like to say thank you for new year eve, we had a gorgeous time and even though it was our first time at anything like this we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. We didn’t fulfill our fantasy but didn’t expect to first time. (Bit shy and unsure) but are still high from what we did do. Please thank your beautiful DJ who made us feel very welcome. Shame she had to work as we would have asked her if she wanted to join us. Anyway I hope there was not too much horrific clearing up to do and am hoping to come again at the end of Jan as the 25th is my birthday You’re all so lovely, thank you again for opening your home and making us feel welcome. J and S x

Sent from J’s IPhone

Just had to write to thank you both for nye.  The party was utterly enjoyable.  Even the 20 somethings seemed to get the hang of it.  I resolve to come to far more parties in 2014.

pC

Wow Janet!  I expected to be impressed but a whole roast pig and lamb – that was something I’ve never seen before.  You must have been working on the food preparation for days.  Was that really caviar?  Some of my friends made the mistake of going elsewhere.  After my description of the festivities at your place they won’t be making that mistake again!  Book me in for the next party.

D

Hi Richard and Janet.  I can’t remember how many NYEs I’ve been to at your place but they keep getting better!  Thanks so much.

K

Hi Richard and Janet.  I would like to thank you both for a great New Year’s Eve party at Radlett.  I had a really good time and am looking forward to the next party.  Thanks again for an enjoyable night.

Regards  M

Hi, I phoned earlier but no answer. We, J and R, have been to your lovely parties a couple of times before and wondered if it were not too late to get tickets for tonight? Please let us know if not, else we’ll transfer the money and see you later on.

Thanks.

Hi Janet  & Richard
Went to your fabulous NYE party just  gone ( Dec 2013)  and had a wonderful time. The party had a great atmosphere and the food
was delicious:). Can’t wait for the next party…. Happy New year
I/we am a : Single Female

A male friend of mine told me about you and your website sounds interesting. I just wanted to double check that I have understood correctly. So when at the party, it is up to everyone to find / seek another person/couple to do whatever they feel like, be that hetro/or homo activities, or just chat. Sexual activities are to take place anywhere upstairs (and not downstairs) but not necessarily in a room as there are not enough rooms. So people may have sex in the open view of other people?

My friend and I plan to attend the party on 24th. Not sure whether he has been but I am a first timer and am excited about it:-)

J (female)

Answer: Hi J.  Thanks for the email.  You’ve pretty much got it, but I would add that sex isn’t banned anywhere.  When the snooker table was in the dance room couples loved to perform on that.  One party it was so full of couples that people were at it underneath!  the four bedrooms aren’t limited to one couple each.  the blackout room has the largest bed in the county and often hosts a dozen revellers.  The pool is also a favourite loco flagrante delecto.  Come on down!

richard

 

 

Others’ views of recent parties at Radlett: 

Hi Richard and Janet

Well done to Richard for the swinging interview just loved it.  Hope to see you next party as I enjoyed myself so much last month x

Love M

Tweet from listener to radio interview: practice safe sex; visit Radlett :)  seriously, much safer for a single woman to go to Radlett than a London nightclub on a Saturday night

Hi Janet  Thanks for holding two wonderful nights at Littlecroft (always a privilege to be there).  Thanks again and best wishes to you and yours  S (male)

Richard and Janet

Thanks for an evening to remember.  This is the review I plan to put on fab swingers.  You deserve it.  Use it as you wish.

Radlett Parties.

I am a 27 year old single girl and used to go to F club.  I enjoyed action there but found the guys urgent but vacuous so looked around.  No idea why I hadn’t heard of Radlett as its much nearer but I decided to give it a go.  I confess to a sneaky previsit at which I broke previous orgasm records, reminding me why I’ve always preferred mature guys.  The owner connected me with a regular lady who was absolutely wonderful, answered all my questions and had me gagging for my first party there.  I didn’t come down off cloud nine until the following Wednesday.  No other venue I have been to comes close.  I had a permanent grin for hours in the dark room, renewed energy with the fabulous food then started all over again in the pool which is to die for.  Ladies – you must try the hot water jet.  It really hits that spot.  I had worried that the age mix might be challenging but a quarter were under 30 and no one there needed putting out to grass.  I found myself ignoring any age gaps as it just became irrelevant.  At least half the guys were worth my attention.  The welcoming atmosphere puts you at ease instantly.  Any single ladies planning to waste time trying to pull anywhere else on a Friday night need to join us instead.  This place is the swinging scene’s best kept secret!!  I have inked all the dates into my diary for months ahead.

E

Dear Sweet Janet,

I came with a friend of mine to your February party. We were guests of the DJ, I would like you to know I had a lovely time and I would enjoy cumming again.

L (single lady)

Dear Janet & Richard,

First of all let me compliment you on the great website make-over. I have been visiting you site for some time and would like to visit Radlett coming Friday.
I am single (41) and go to Eureka in Kent and Bristol Gardens in Brighton. I enjoy socialising aspect as well and understand your irritation with some guys’ behaviour ruining it for other single guys. With much amusement I read the “test” on your page which surely was meant to behaviour guidance for revellers (as you call them).

Please let me know if it ok for me to visit coming Friday.

V

good morning ,
we are having our first swing separate rooms today and it made us talk about  going to a club I’ve read all about you even came across an article on three counties radio very good
i wont hold back h has been married happily just doesn’t get any sex at home i have a partner same again sex wise and both want to explore haven’t been with each other long but it doesn’t feel like that
we just want to explore
as i say we would be coming as a couple did i see its £40??
and wait to hear from you to see if accepted??
as i say we are completely new but will try ANYTHING .
look forward to hear from you and you do have a great site.

m & h

Hi.
I’ve looked at your website a few times and finally decided to send an email for a bit more information.
I’m a single 47 yr old female and am looking to be a playmate for a couple.
Do you do introductions at your parties?

L

I’ve visited u once with an Ex, I loved my experience as I had him there.
I would like to come March 21st, I will be on my own and will be nervous. I would like to meet a couple or just play with the lady, I’m not gay, maybe Bi but women are lovely.
I will be driving so may need to stay over, would that be an issue.
And us it ok to say no?
Regards
Fe z

A male friend of mine told me about you and your website sounds interesting. I just wanted to double check that I have understood correctly. So when at the party, it is up to everyone to find / seek another person/couple to do whatever they feel like, be that hetro/or homo activities, or just chat. Sexual activities are to take place anywhere upstairs (and not downstairs) but not necessarily in a room as there are not enough rooms. So people may have sex in the open view of other people?

My friend and I plan to attend the party on 24th. Not sure whether he has been but I am a first timer and am excited about it:-)

J (female)

Answer: Hi J.  Thanks for the email.  You’ve pretty much got it, but I would add that sex isn’t banned anywhere.  When the snooker table was in the dance room couples loved to perform on that.  One party it was so full of couples that people were at it underneath!  the four bedrooms aren’t limited to one couple each.  the blackout room has the largest bed in the county and often hosts a dozen revellers.  The pool is also a favourite loco flagrante delecto.  Come on down!

richard

We attended your last party and wished to attend again this Saturday if space is still available all the best T & R

Great party last night. Our first time with you and we were very impressed with your warmth, the facilities and the awesome buffet.
We look forward to coming along again soon
Many thanks
R & T

Hi
We have been to some great parties over the years. Can we book in for 20th December x

Hey Janet, I’m a 25 year old single gentleman that has heard many good things about your Friday night events.

Hi there,
I am very new to this experience. The parties which you run was actually attended by of friend of mine and she highly recommended attending. I would love to attend.

Hi Janet and Richard
We would like to come to the New Year’s Eve party. We have been to one of your parties in the summer and enjoyed ourselves!
Do we need to book?
Are there any different ‘rules’ (eg dress, contributions etc?)
Looking forward to seeing you again
Kind regards
S and N

Hot tub still incapacitated.  The organising committee are pleased to announce radlett is running a full service on all facilities this weekend except the hot tub.  The pool is scheduled to be at 99 degf on Friday and Saturday – think of it as a big steam room.  Sauna is fully operational.  However, the hot tub remains difficult to access as it is impaled by the pergola grape vine which collapsed last month in a severe gale.  The plan is to crop some 100 Kg of grapes when they fully ripen.  Shortly afterwards the leaves will fall, reducing the weight of the vine by about a ton.  We need virgins to trample the grapes but they are in short supply.  Then we can chainsaw the residue to conduct a rebuild.  Vines are fast recoverers so by the end of next summer it will look similar except for the vine branches that will be much smaller than their current 10cm.

Girls on the pull.  Ladies are increasingly grasping that going out on the pull can be a high budget affair that gives little prospect of the carnal outcome that high drive ladies need.  So if you know any hen nights or ladies who are unnecessarily blowing a big slice of their disposable income on nightclub bar prices, send them to this web site!  We get up to 70 guys applying for places and if girls express a preferred type we can ensure their needs are met amongst the guys admitted.

And more serious still?  We used to discourage singles who imagined these parties might lead to encouplement.  That was ill-thought through.  We know of at least four couples together for over a decade who met here, and Janet never left after dropping in 17 years ago.  We know of several ladies with longer term ambitions who threaten to dabble.  I’ll say no more.

Anything for the weekend madam? We always thought it a bit cheeky when people asked if we provided ‘safety measures’.  Having just realised we have probably accumulated over a kilogram of the little chaps this may have been a trifle myopic on our part.  If you are not sticklers for date codes and do not hold us responsible for any outcome not to your liking, we have ‘safety measures’ on hand until further notice.

Couples/singles reminder.  Couples (the guy arriving no earlier than and leaving no later than his partner) and single ladies are welcome at Friday and Saturday parties without needing to book.  Single guys are welcome on Fridays only and do need to touch base with us to make sure we don’t get overloaded events that can be off putting for them and couples.  It helps if couples and single ladies tell us if they plan to come on Friday so we can get an appropriate male interest for them.  If you have any unusual profile for preferred types of guy, tell us in advance and we will do our best to accommodate you.

Menu.  Janet plans for the (groaning) table this weekend:

Miscellaneous curries

Loads of chicken

Vegetarian bits

Cheese board

Miscellaneous cakes

Toast and coffee for the après party gossip breakfast

 

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Erotic Art

A long standing and dear friend has artistic talent and has turned her hand to erotic art.  For the time being she has opted to allow these to be used as decoration at the parties here.  She has agreed to email us photos and prices for them should anyone be interested in adorning their own homes.

Lockable rooms

We have hitherto operated an unlockable door policy because:

ours is a family home and not to be rearchitectured in support of those trying to avoid the expense of a hotel

it is mainly uglies who are concerned at being watched and radlett does not attract such and does not wish to start

arithmetic suggests that if every couple demanded privacy they would average 2mins 32seconds each – precipitating countless delecto interupti!

radlett did not wish to be a venue where pre-arranged meets bypass the social interaction just for a cheap hotel room

lockable rooms seem to us to be on the slippery slope to a brothel which is absolutely a no-no

finding a room locked in one’s face will remind guests of the ‘clickiness’ so hated at the venues that do have lockable doors

lockable rooms would seem to undo the much praised effort we put into getting people to know each other

lockable rooms facilitate and empower those with inflexible racial preferences

however, one of our organising committee has sought out the opinions of the ‘locked door’ afficionados and has become persuaded that more people will join us if we offer lockable doors than will be put off.  we chair an inclusive committee that listens to suggestions, so are going to test this with an experimental exception for April.  We will be dedicating a security function between midnight and 3am to enable bedroom 3 to be prebooked for reasonable lengths of time.  we will assess afterwards how many extra people joined us and how many stayed away.  The overall success of this will be reviewed and draped cabins may be introduced into the other half of the loft depending on the results.  carpenters please step forward.

Additionally, the changing hut by the pool has been ‘cosified’, had blinds added and can be locked for reasonable periods.  please let us know what you think about lockable rooms.  your views are much more credible in writing than by word of mouth.  thanks in anticipation.

Party times

Being amateurs, we often get in a panic because we are not completely ready at 9.30pm when a couple of early guests arrive.  Very few arrive before 10pm, so from April we ask guests to plan to arrive after 10am and we will not guarantee to be ready before then.  On Fridays, the dj normally plays until around 4am and we would ask those who have not pre-booked some sleeping space to take that as the end of the party and plan to leave to give us space for a quick rest before starting on saturday’s party.  Thanks for your cooperation.

Greedy girls friday

Those unaware of the lovely and voracious Belle might want to read ‘greedy girls’ on the website bulletins. Her first attendance was an enormous pleasure for dozens. She has threatened to join us again in attempt to assuage her enormous appetite for urbane, fit guys under 35.  If you tick all three of these boxes and book in before Wednesday midnight, you are on a firm promise. Hopefully wannabes have been toning up since her last visit in January. Other greedy girls will have access to more guys in this category than ever before. Other couples who prefer the previous levels of testosterone should be protected from overload in that the higher number of guys per couple is blunted by their being already on a promise, so don’t be put off by the shifted ratio of guys – just revel in the choice. Most guys have been briefed about this and undertake to be sensitive to couples uncomfortable with overload.

Car parking and driveway.

Not many people know that the AA television advertisement of a few years back was based on this venue. The line ‘we’ve seen everything’ coincided with what purported to be a naturist getting breakdown assistance in a field. The nye before, several cars got stuck in our field. Without discussion with us, one AA member called for assistance. The patrolman on call could not believe his luck at this assignment and, mindful of the need to spice up his colleagues shifts, decided he needed more ‘assistance’. Within an hour three AA men were wandering the house asserting that they needed to trace particular persons rather than doing any useful work out in the cold and wet.

Thus we put down 80 tons of hardcore to make the drive tractable in even the worst conditions. Alas, not all appreciate the resulting hump back ride down to the tennis court and we occasionally still get cars stranded on the field after monsoons. Thus, several years on, the committee has sanctioned a 5 figure budget to level the drive and 1500 square metres of the field then embed reinforcing mesh. No improvement too onerous for our appreciative guests! Enjoy.

Update:  First stage is now complete.  Dozens more cars can use the area that used to degenerate into a mud bath whenever it rained.  Come and marvel at one of the seven wonders of Radlett.

Tyson Brown performs at Radlett

Our team have negotiated for your titilation the famous Tyson Brown for around midnight on Saturday.  Leave your rulers at home – they will not be long enough.

pussy galore meets radlett

 

Pussy Galore   A friend who runs Pussy Galore has been let down at the last moment over the venue for her inaugural party in RegentsPark and has asked us to accommodate the event. We have worked carefully with her to minimise brand dislocation for our regulars, enabling her to retain much of her planned razz matazz and bringing a range of controlled excitements for anyone who is interested. Channel four, envious that channel 5 got here first, plans to add a chapter on their documentary about Lord Davenport’s girl friend’s ‘life without ‘im inside’. Rest assured that it is illegal for any shots or footage to include anybody who has not opted in by signing a release form in advance. The shooting should be in the pool, be pre-announced over the microphone and over in a few minutes. Pussy Galore threatens to bring together the prettiest socialites and high achievers whose libido’s front their personalities. We have been told to expect models, A list porn stars and well heeled businessmen. Penny has undertaken to protect the rest of the party from any single guys who are not balanced by rampant females. Thus Penny assures us that this will still be ‘a balanced numbers’ event if not strictly couples only. We can’t wait.

Do you have a pet parrot called abfab?

Thanks for another fantastic night last Saturday.  Why are the Radlett numbers going up while all the other venues seem to be suffering from a recession?  Call me sad, but I spend my nights off trawling the swinging venue sites. Either you own a place near Heathrow called abfab, or they owe you a fat consultancy fee.  Over the last few months they seem to copy almost every thing you do.  Radlett upgraded to a telescopic pool enclosure.  Abfab followed suit. Radlett is famous for its food.  Abfab lifted their game with food.  Most flattering of all to you must be their instant knee jerk reaction to the Radlett NYE bash.  Within moments of your details being published, they had modified their offering to copy your fireworks, price and charity involvement.  We had a parrot once that similarly regurgitated everything we said.  Being a business, they still have to have a formal finish time – ‘carriages’.  I’ve been there and I think they must also be copying your reference letters.  The venue is functional enough, but it stretches our credulity that anyone really felt ‘bowled over’ by the welcome.  It’s a place we go if Radlett isn’t on and we can’t wait for our monthly ‘fix’.  Keep up the good work!

Johnny & S.

To the ‘sad’ who phoned the NSPCC:

In June the NSPCC received an anonymous call from someone who claimed to have been at a party here while our four year old, Olivia was present.  They added that the party website contains pornographic material, that it will traumatise her to have a dance pole in the home and that the NSPCC should investigate.  That person should be pleased to learn that interviews with Olivia’s teachers, doctors and family satisfied the authorities that Olivia is much loved, very bright and outgoing, and at no risk of any harm whatsoever.  However, since that phone call must have been intended either to close down the parties or have Olivia taken into care, such news probably makes the culprit livid!  Furthermore, Olivia is always elsewhere during the parties, though occasionally is collected to meet family friends who have stayed over the following day when nothing of an adult nature occurs (over 40 of the well wishers at her Christening service have been to parties here).  Thus it is quite probable that the culprit is a plant from some insecure other venue and was never here at all.

I have more to say to the culprit.  Around 80% of swingers have children.  There is no earthly reason for sexuality to shut down at the arrival of offspring or any correlation between normal sexuality and harm to youngsters.  Olivia enjoys visiting friends we have met through the parties and she is far more safe from harm in the presence of such balanced people rather than those who feel guilt and pent up pressures.  We feel sorry for revellers who tell us they ‘could not possibly let their children know’.  Why not?  Is their deceit designed to create a dishonest moral platform from which they can berate or belittle their offspring’s sexuality?  How much better to project informed leadership in all matters, not just wisdom?  As Janet’s daughters grew up, we have answered every question posed by them honestly and without rebuke, embarrassment or judgement.  Now in their 20s they are perfectly balanced model young ladies and under no pressure either to attend or avoid the parties.  This is how offspring should be brought up.

If the culprit really did come to parties here, their stated concerns say far more about how guilty and ashamed they feel about the parties than any risk of harm to our fabulous daughter.  It would suit us all if they went to one of the other venues that try so hard (in vain) to match the atmosphere here and take their guilt with them.

Party website:

Headline banner on home page 1/5/6

New dates available – see bulletin board

07986 288580 now a last resort enquiry line – but study the site first

Venue

We try to keep the format simple and fun.  You don’t need to join a club, pay membership, send photographs or give your life history.  The devaluation of our home by parties is well into six figures, so we do look for a contribution to pool maintenance, damage, etc. from those who haven’t had us to a recent uncharged party.  We throw parties while we enjoy them, not as a business.  While revellers defray the costs of parties we can throw more of them.  Parties start from 21:30 and stop when the last person leaves.  To assist those who feel torn between eating out or frolicking, we ease the burden by feeding you to a fair standard.  There are usually provisions for those who stay over to have breakfast etc. the following morning.  If you don’t feel this gregarious, the Red Lion hotel in the village can be booked on 01923 855341, fax 853438.

The facilities include a 50 foot long covered pool, 30 foot dance room with dance pole, sauna, hot tub, 3 secluded acres for summer evening revelry, a log cabin concealed therein and a 500 square foot dungeon with winchable body hoist, stocks &c. Between two and five bedrooms are made available for associative therapy.

You should bring 50% more drink than you would normally take to a party – this much fun really is thirsty work.  The local police know of the format and have assured us that they have no concerns in their professional capacity.  They are usually outnumbered by their off-duty colleagues in attendance already (though these choose not to reveal their identity to most). However, they do sometimes observe leavers’ erratic driving style and one reveller did forego his licence as a result. Recently, a pedestrian flagged down a police car to complain of cars parked on the pavement.  This is technically an offence which the police normally ‘turned a blind eye to’, but must now ‘do their job’, so park in the field behind the house where there is space for 100 cars.  A track has now been laid so that anyone with an understanding of traction will be fine.  If the ground is wet, the trick is not to stop until on the tarmac hard stand.

Attendance profile drifts with time, but the average age seems currently to be around 35.  There is no restriction on upper age or physique, but it has been many months since we saw any one who had lost pride in their appearance.  Minor adjustments are made occasionally to the emphasis of the DJ’s music to prevent us being overrun by sexually inactive clubbers who just want a cheap head-banging evening.  The DJ does not inflict his own musical tastes, but interprets the mood of those interested.  He welcomes requests, but if he ‘takes inordinate time’ to play your choice, don’t invoke world war three, just accept that he has trouble integrating your rarefied tastes with those of the others present.  When he needs a rest there is a jukebox with 160 dance tracks from the classic eras.

In spite of Janet’s enormous effort to put first timers at ease, the only negative feedback we had in two years was from a couple who left ‘confused and disappointed’ because no one had engaged them.  They asked if we could place a manual of engagement on the wall.  Could revellers please take a modicum of responsibility for their own interactions?  Wouldn’t a safe ice-breaker be to ask a couple nearby what their preferred approach protocol is?  The documentary apparently shocked lots of you with the effort we put in for your pleasure – any chance of revellers running the last lap without needing to be spoon-fed?

Couples

These parties are usually on the fourth Saturday of every month but the exact schedule is in dates.  Couples do not need to book ahead.  We take pride in feeding you, and often supply a whole roast pig – or similar.  On couples only nights the attendance has only once been below 100 and has been over 200.  Some revellers change into erotic gear here – an office is dedicated as a cloakroom.  The door team let people in wearing jeans, trainers or baseball hats just once if they plead lack of upbringing and promise never to do it again.  Arrive from 21:30, but be warned that most arrive between 10 and 11 with activity peaking between 11pm and 4am.  The contribution sought to cover costs depends upon recent damage and party-dedicated acquisitions, but will not be above £40 per couple until further notice.

Single males are excluded and should not embarrass themselves by attempting entry.  The door team have seen all the scams from ‘my partner arranged to meet me here’ to scrambling through the undergrowth to bypass security.  Do not bring any male separately from his intended ‘partner’.  It is embarrassing to all while he waits outside for someone who usually never comes (and was probably fictitious in the first place).  Heavily bi women should couple with similar – it distorts the dynamics for both partners in a couple to be pursuing the same gender.  Such a couple is the equivalent of two single males.  Please do not bring a partner who plans to be a lot less active than you.  If she just wants to dance you stay downstairs as well.  We are too polite to berate the occasional reveller who pays a ‘ticket woman’ to gain entry, but be assured they are easy to spot.

The rooms are sometimes labelled to help people select their favourite type of interaction.  Cruisers (lone males who have parked their women somewhere ‘safe’) are discouraged from at least one room so that couples-only revellers can be spared testosterone-inflamed interruption.

First timers often seek reassurance.  Around 20% at each party are also first timers.  If you ‘loose your nerve’, or have resolved not to interact, staying downstairs will usually feel just like being at a normal, very sociable party. Around 30% don’t interact.  Preferred approach protocols vary between couples, so a safe icebreaker is to ask a couple that interests you what theirs is.  As a last resort, remember that no always means no.

Singles

Many couples have asked for singles to be around on Saturdays, so the schedule has been extended by adding it the Saturday following each couples and singles party.  See dates.  The first 3 experimental such events were well attended but of indeterminate type.  The last one had far more couples than singles.  So we have continued the format for a couple of months to see what emerges.  Watch this space for a shift in emphasis on the Fridays.  Single males need to talk to Janet in advance.  That gives both parties a chance to ask questions.  Janet limits the number of single males to stop the ratio becoming uncomfortable for all concerned.

The number of couples so far has ranged between 13 and 38.  Some guys ask if they are assured of ‘action’.  Our home is not a brothel.  Males who conceptualise womanhood into two groups – those who might bear their children and must be chained to monogamy in support of their keeper’s fragile ego, and (other men’s) fallen women whose main purpose is further to aggrandise their ego-centrality will be seen through by the discerning couples here.  They should do their partners the favour of evangelising them into couples-only parties.

If however, you respect and love the company of women, don’t see pleasuring them as a predatory slight on their long-term partner and perform well sexually, give Janet a call – a lot of couples want to meet you.

Parties start from 21:30.  The first 2 hours or so are usually spent socialising and winning confidence.  Janet once did an analysis that showed 75% of single males did and 15% of women didn’t.  How much you enjoy the evening is up to you more than anyone else.  Being welcomed back can depend on showing you recognise this.  Occasionally we set one room aside where single males may only enter if invited by a lady.

!  special booking arrangements – see bulletin board

How to find us

You might want to take a copy of this page to avoid getting lost.  As a last (and not popular) resort, we can sometimes be interrupted on 07986 288580.

Gps coordinates are 51.67528 degrees north, 0.30137 degrees west.  Magellan users beware a 450m error.  Grid reference is TQ 17450 99224.  Littlecroft, WD7 7LT is the last house on the right as you leave Radlett for Borehamwood on Theobald Street.  Herewith our location within context of M25:

House rules

Rules can spoil an atmosphere, but to reduce our disappointment at a minority’s behaviour, you might like to consider the following:

Smoking upstairs has caused horrendous damage so is banned.  Please leave gum at home or at least stick it somewhere it can be easily removed.  Much of it is in our written-off carpets.  The grounds are not an ashtray.  Please seek out the nearest proper one to dispose of any cigarette ends.  One group recently stubbed over a dozen cigarettes out at their feet in the carpet when an ashtray was three feet away.  Another stubbed theirs out on the upstairs wallpaper, another in our plastic ensuite bath.  Contributions could be so much less without such abuse.  The loft dungeon is absolutely a no-smoking zone. Exit difficulty, distractions and flammability should make this obvious to all but the criminally insane.  We now have the technology to remove even red wine stains from carpets, so you can drink upstairs.  If you must take drinks into the pool or hot tub, take extreme caution or a plastic cup.  A broken glass can do horrible damage to a foot.

People at these parties have stronger relationships than most.  It is bad etiquette to attempt to date someone behind his or her partner’s back.  Do not hide used condoms.  If your partner suffers from kleptomania please frisk them before leaving. Favourite souvenirs include expensive bottles of drink, cds (software from the computer as well as music), dvds, videos, camcorders, books and cameras.

Simple arithmetic will show that there are not enough rooms for small groups to barricade doors shut behind them.  There are plenty of cosy dark corners in the loft.  Taking the loft ladder off its hinges to prevent others ascending has the downside that you will be trapped aloft!  Sexual safety is your own affair, so come equipped.

Bulletin board

Summer Ball

Several of you sent positive emails about this, but we felt the event fell between two very different visions.  Do people want a summer counterbalance to the New Year eve party?  If you have views on theme, entertainment and any ways it can be made special, please let us know.  We have around 50 weeks to get it right for 2007.

Barbara Kelly

Charles and Jo have donated one of their famous love-swings to our dungeon and will be bringing some of their magical goodies to up-coming parties.  Their hope is that many of you will become intrigued enough to visitwww.BarbaraKelly.co.uk.  They are extending 10% reduction to radlettparties revellers.  All you have to do is enter JT1060 voucher code at the online checkout.  Enjoy.

Pool Enclosure

Would the person so impatient, drunk or irritable that they could not exit through the normal doors but chose instead to exit through the side make themselves known?  The replacement is being actively researched and should be with us by the autumn – planning permission permitting.  It will cost a deal more than the total of all the cars I have ever bought, so we hope it makes revellers very happy. In the mean time, the pool is open and very difficult to keep heated and clear.

Weekend stopovers.

Some diehards have asked the cost to stay over between the Friday and Saturday parties.  We don’t charge extra, but be warned that Littlecroft needs continual upkeep and you might be asked to muck in.  ‘Friends of Littlecroft’ who contribute in such ways over and above the call of duty might even earn some free entries.  There will plenty for ladies to do as well. It is hoped that summer stoppers will bring a sleeping bag (other than their partner) tents and/or camper vans.

Assistance

Maintaining the fabric is a full time job but we have had useful help from revellers.  Such helpers don’t always work for free, but they price generously and/or can earn some free entry in return.  If you have a skill and/or would like to help a little, please make yourself known to us.  This helps us keep the entry cost down.  Key requirements are for a registered gas fitter, landscape gardener, electrician, ordinary plumber and window cleaner.  Cheerful people who can just join in at anything necessary are also welcome.

Lodgers

We keep three rooms empty just for a dozen hours a month of party activity.  If you know anyone who would enjoy living here as well as the parties, but be prepared to vacate their room for most of the night during parties, have them contact us.

First timers

Since the documentary, countless couples have wanted to come for the first time.  Some of them have asked for a ‘first timer’s manual’ to help them through slight anxiety.  Around a dozen couples at each party are first timers.  Read the ‘guests’ observations’ to be assured how little you will regret your first visit.  No two couples have exactly the same preferred approach, so a ‘manual’ would not help much.  We always found that asking couples what they were looking forward to gave a good indication of whether to invest any more time with them.  All couples want to communicate, so there is no chance of being rebuffed in the exploratory stages of engagement.  Do rehearse an exit strategy or protocol if one of you starts to feel insecure at the greater popularity of the other

‘Independent’ swinger websites

Call us gullible, but we believed they all were.  We have since been told by regular party visitors that when they angrily counter the outlandish criticisms on one such site, their inputs are ignored.  There is apparently some nonsense out there about single males at Littlecroft couples only nights.  It seems some sites have sinister editorial controls.  Several of these membership sites exist and need to be swayed by regular lobbying from people who enjoy it here.  We sense that it is in their interest to demote amateur house parties in favour of commercial venues.  If you belong to any, please get amongst their chat rooms and spread the word.

Plumbing

A small celebration is due – the last party is the first in our recall that no one broke any of our toilets!  This year alone, some 6 man days have gone into their repair.  We don’t expect revellers to have a doctorate in hydraulic engineering, but are sometimes dumbfounded by the abuse.  Some one had even put a tampax in the cistern rather than the bowl.  That took over a day to extract from the flush siphon.  Have a care!

Locking/barring doors

As we write elsewhere on the site, there are not enough rooms for every group who wants to exclude the rest of the party. As a compromise, room(s) will be designated with a notice: ‘only enter this room if you have been invited’.

Hoot of an article

We’ve just had a hoot reading www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,5-2005230149,00.html.  You might find it a useful way of evangelising doubters who ought to join you.

Janet’s Birthday

The experimental Saturday couples and singles continue on 29th July with the extra excuse that Janet’s birthday is near. Very few places will be auctioned to single guys.  The atmosphere was fantastic on 22nd with dozens spilling out into the grounds.  Let’s wring every such opportunity out of summer before autumn sets in

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