Radlett is the UK's best established and popular swinging house party venue. Perfect for newbies and experienced swingers alike. Read the site then call us on 07986 288580 with any unanswered questions.
A HUGE WARM WELCOME TO PAST AND PRESENT FRIENDS TO RADLETT PARTIES.
Radlett Parties Newsletter APRIL 2019
Includes: quotables from the desk of the President; sleuth missions
Much of this material will also be newsletters. Also, because readership falls well short of 100% each month, (29.3% last month to be precise) matters of lasting relevance stay in the newsletter more than one month (with some modifications, so no lazy skipping paragraphs please! You may be tested).
The “Incident” (Radlett’s very own resurrection). Aparently the jungle drums have been working overtime on my prematurely broadcast demise, so herewith some facts of the matter. I was deemed by several people to be dead after being carried by some kind pall bearers from the sauna to the house. Professional nurses amongst the guests eventually found a slight pulse – our thanks go to them. An ambulance was called, stabilised me then took me to Watford A&E. The attached picture shows the natty nhs issue trousers (Nakedness is de rigeur in the sauna) plus the myriad electodes applied to my torso for several ecgs. Those ecgs evidenced ‘a heart function the envy of most 30year olds’ they said. With my history of dvts from drives (all day driving then sleeping in the car) to arctic, Moscow, Damascus etc the doctors then sent me for a ct scan to see if clots had got into my lungs. They hadn’t so I was interrogated about the party and events that may have triggered the collapse.
How much alcohol did you have?
After a pause to recall – all of it. Started with tequila shots; at least theree bottles of fizz; lager in between
Ok. What setting was the sauna on?
Maximum – 9.5 kw
Not healthy. You didn’t put water on the hot stones did you?
Then the air temperature would have been around 60 degc. You were in there for presumably only a few minutes right?
Just under an hour.
Ouch! Presumably sitting still?
Get real! This was an adult party. It would be impolite to let my guest out of the sauna before orgasm.
It seems to us Mr Stanley that this fainting was self inflicted. As nurses we really ought to be at the next party there. When is it?
Normal function resumed the following day as I returned to running my daily mile.
Any wordpress experts able to help? Several parts of our website are way out of date because we don’t know certain edit functions. We supply the alcohol etc for anyone able to coach us in this. The last time we subcontracted web mastery the site was sabotaged off the air for 6 weeks.
Schedule of works update For those fascinated about where their contribution goes or why we run such old motor cars, we list here just some of the recently completed or upcoming projects needed for the parties and which between them will absorb 6 figures of resource, mainly from our savings (well that’s eye-watering for us if not you rich bastards).
The pool lights and surrounding path illumination have been upgraded for safety
All the external floodlights have been replaced
The fire safety systems have had their annual update
Pool underwater lights are now fixed
Loft conversion is contracted to start february 4th
New croquet lawn awaiting quote
Hall and landing wall paper being replaced
Replace floor in toilet number 6
Solar panels to take the heavy party energy needs – configuration designed
New pool circulation
Upcoming party reminders for those indisposed to trawl web sites:
Monday to Friday lodgings. – ROOM NOW FILLED…We have a vacancy for a lodger. Non-swingers can get irrationally prescious about the use of their room in their absence. We ask them if they check that every couple to use a hotel room before them proved that were married and they go sheepish but still make facile excuses for going elsewhere. Does anyone know of any person working around here with family a long drive away?
Party with us. Please set out to party with us rather than against us.
WordPress expertise. Any one out there able to coach us in rudimentary WORDPRESS expertise? Some of the stuff on the web site is well out of date and we don’t know how to remove it.
Quotables from the desk of the President:
The largest sex organ each have is our mind with its capacity to imagine erotically. Guys trumpeting their cocks as their primary asset should expect their audience to register the smallness of their minds and thereby imaginations rather than the magnificence of their cocks. This is said without any racism in mind.
NEW – FRIDAY NIGHTS “GIRLS MEET AT RADLETT PARTIES” Richard/Janet and the team at Radlett have listened over the years to many comments made about the Friday night parties where single guys have been allowed to come and listed below are the comments of a newbie single lady who experienced her first night as a singlet. We hope that her comments will encourage more women to come and party with us as “Girl Power really does rock!”
Radio interviewee on Radlett Friday nights: ‘We girls used to let our hair down in bars in town. Then we discovered Friday nights at Radlett. Save bar prices; no need for unsafe taxis home; loads of places to consummate any successful pull; rubbish guys pre-filtered out; free to go naked in hot tub; pool and sauna; sumptuous food included; no entry charge for single ladies; NO BRAINER!!!!!
VETTING PROCESS FOR SINGLE MALES “ Hi. Thanks for your interest in joining our party as a single guy. Even if we already have some of the following, please help us by grouping it all in one email: name, age, contact phone number, email address if you want the newsletter, what makes you interesting, facial photo and a solemn commitment that if and when you do have a partner you will have no hesitation bringing her here (couples and ladies take a dim view of guys who hope to enjoy their attentions but ‘wouldn’t dream of bringing’ their own partner here). We use best endeavours to target a comfortable gender ratio. Less than half of single guy applicants are successful. Noshows are rarely gender balanced so we can get more single ladies here than single guys and vice-versa. We supply the venue and ambience but are not procurers! So no grizzling please if noshows skew the balance. They are not our fault. We look forward to hearing from you.”
Chewing gum. For years I have resignedly cut gum out of our carpets. Unsticking such detritus from cold surfaces is no big strain on my immune system and epidermis, though getting to where it is hidden before our daughter’s friends do can be a challenge. Last week Pharoh’s heart hardened. This rethink was triggered by two bed time experiences in short succession. The spider I briefly thought was squashed under my back turned out to be a residue of chewing gum that had survived the washing machine. Having put a towel over the offending item I lent over to pick my history book (loads more interesting than television) for a riveting read. It was stuck to the floor with yet more of this pervasive gum. Trying to pick the noxious oral effluent off the book just disintegrated the cover. Henceforth this venue is a gum free zone. We plan a discreet container with a less discreet sign inviting oral inadequates to unburden themselves before entering. That should add years to the life of our carpets. Thank you.
We hope, nay EXPECT, to see you soon!
Janet and Richard
From first time visitor:
I arrive at “Littlecroft” in Radlett to be greeted by the most wonderful smiling hostess imaginable in Janet, who immediately puts me at my ease with infinite warmth & authenticity in welcoming me into her wonderful home…
Since January 2018 we have been inundated by friends, past who we have not seen for several years and we were relieved to see them all “as naughty” as ever. The new site picture gallery shows some of Sheryl’s award winning culinary craftmanship. Several revellers have already praised us and commented that the paltry door contribution is less than they would expect to pay for such food alone – let alone the ambience of a £5m home, pool, sauna, dungeon etc. Here the parties last as long as the last guest – sometimes Tuesday. Sometimes, there is a real risk that we will have to turn people away due to overcrowding so do try to get here before 2.00 am when the security gates need to close.
Sadly, unlike Kestrel’s, we are unable to provide daily activities ie use of the sauna, swimming pool, jacuzzi and the spacious house. This is a family home and as such we only open the house on specific event nights, usually once a month for the weekend. Message or email us for invites to the exclusive events. Join our Secret Radlett Parties group on Facebook by sending us a brief face profile and an email address. Join us on WhatsApp No fees involved for joining this private group…..
Local hotels ; The Travel Lodge, The Premier Inn, Ibis Hotel are nearby in Elstree and Borehamwood for easy access to the venue.
The team at Radlett
Ps: Please remember we do not charge annual membership fees for our parties.
Consideration for our neighbours – FUTURE EVENTS 2019
Most sat navs targeting WD7 7LT will drop drivers outside Birchwood Manor. An increasing number of guests are disturbing that neighbour by asking directions. This is straining neighbourhood relations. PLEASE DO NOT bother any neighbours in this way. Note that LITTLECROFT is two houses further from Radlett on the same side. There are usually lights, commotion, car movement and a pair of balls in our brand colours, red and black, hanging from the entrance. If these visual cues fail, last resort is to text 07986 288 580. Your co-operation in this matter is vital to keep this venue open. firstname.lastname@example.org
Upcoming party dates:
Friday 24th MAY 2019 INTRODUCING A CHANGE TO OUR FRIDAY NIGHT.
Theme is “GIRLS MEET AT RADLETT PARTIES” Night for sexy ladies, either bi, single or married to meet up with other couples and few limited selected guys for a party night of entertainment.. Dress code is “cocktail dresses/elegant/sexy for ladies/couples, smart but casual for guys…strictly no jeans, t-shirts or scruffy dressing…come dressed to impress……Couples £30 single guys £50, ladies FREE ENTRY before 10.00 am, £10 after 10.00 am DJ Christian. Hot and cold buffet. Bring your own drinks, soft and mixers please.
Saturday 25th May 2019 Couples/single ladies ONLY. optional theme “SHIPWRECK” COSTUMES OPTIONAL BUT FUN! ” theme for this night except a night of gentrified debauchery and orgies…………………………. ) Come dressed to impress, although dressing up is an option not a requirement. It adds to the fun of the evening…..Couples are encouraged to wear love island beachwear/ swimwear/shorts/ etc but again this is an option. email for party invite to either email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org or call us on the mobile, 07986 288 580
Friday 21st June 2019 – GIRLS MEET AT RADLETT. Couples/single ladies/pre-selected guys only night .
Saturday 22nd June 2019 – MDSUMMER’S BLACK TIE BALL Couples/single ladies night only. Pre-booking now available. Email us for an invite for this very special night at Radlett
Friday 26th July 2019 – GIRLS MEET AT RADLETT. Couples/ladies and pre-selected guys. Special guest appearance from a “Mad Mike” stripper. Ladies queue up!
Saturday 27th July 2019 – Couples/ladies only – POOL PARTY to include outdoor foam party/marque with BDSM entertainment. Dress: beachwear/colourful shirts/shorts but no scruffy wear please.
Situated in a picturesque Hertfordshire village just inside the M25, we have single handedly sanitised the image of swinging with countless TV documentaries and interviews. We try to keep the format simple and fun. You don’t need to join a club, nor pay membership fee. We do however, reserve the right to discourage people at risk of upsetting others and seek to foster good relationships with all those we meet. Swinging is not for everyone, but there is no harm in trying something different and exciting! We do appreciate good facial photographs, and interesting profiles…..
Whilst the parties and events are an enormous part of our fun-packed entertaining social life; not run as a business, sometimes contributing to our favourite charities and good causes ie. Medicine San Frontier’s, Help for Heroes etc. we do look for a contribution for pool maintenance and damage to our home, The costs can sometimes vary according to the event. While revellers defray the costs of parties we can throw more of them. Weekend Parties start from 21:30 on the Friday night and stops when the last person leaves – sometimes as late as Sunday lunchtime…. There are local hotels for those who wish to stay and enjoy the weekend, but we strongly discourage drinking and driving and assists wherever possible to ease the burden on our local police and community. There is usually apres-party gossip the following morning. To assist those who feel torn between eating out or frolicking, we ease the burden by feeding you to a fair standard.
The facilities include a 8-bedroomed country house set in 3 acres of private secluded gated acres for evening revelry, 16 tree orchard with wild country meadow, tennis court for parking up to 100 cars. a 16 metre long covered telescopic heated swimming pool, sauna, outdoor heated Jacuzzi, 10 metre dance room with dance pole and hot and cold buffet.
Fire Safety Assessment, on June 27th the fire service passed our five figure investment in fire safety ‘magna cum laude’. In recognition that the whistle blower had impure motives, the fire service cooperated with us to quarter the initial quotation. Any help ‘friends of Radlett’ can be by bringing friends along to address the budgetary damage to the maintenance fund would be much appreciated. Bulletin approved and requiered by the authorities:
The fire authorities anguished for some time over what safety regime should apply at radlett parties. They have decided we must be safer than a normal home because not everyone is pre-known to us attending a party here already had about 8000 times less chance of dying by fire (or smoke) than staying at home
We have been required to spend well into 5 figures with the intent that revellers be safer still one requiremnt in the safety rules is a briefed to all present we do not have a full quorum as before flight take-off, so this must be done herein with reinforcement upon arrival
Herewith what guests must know:
The fire and smoke detectors are linked so that all will go off at 85db when triggered or manually set by a host team member
Within seconds one of the host team will give calm but clear and loud guidance on how to vacate the venue
This will be by the shortest route that avoids any fire risk initially to anywhere more than 4m from the building
Then to the lawn at the back so that emergency vehicles are not impeded and we can do a roll call
Smoking and fat frying are banned inside the house during parties now come and help Pay for all this safety by bringing all your friends! lol
The sincerest form of flattery. It is flattering to recognise so many of the backgrounds to couple’s photographs on the adult sites as parts of our home. It was also flattering to read a web site some months back that was a verbatim lift from our own in its entirety. The latest flattery is other party hosts liberally sprinkling their web site galleries with photos of our home, perhaps in the hope of catching some of the magic as in Tinkerbell’s star dust. A bottle of fizz to the party comer on July 22nd who has spotted the most pictures of Radlett Parties abducted for illicit ‘grandeur by association’ by wannabees.
The grounds for summer barbecues – on You Tube. ‘Radlett parties 3 acres grounds’ is a quick virtual tour of what people call the ‘Garden of Eden’. Perhaps because of the apple trees, perhaps because of how much they wear! I still seem not to have mastered uploading multiple clips so experts please step forward.
Welcome to over 200 new subscribers. We had been getting quietly anxious at a reduction in messages through the site. This afternoon we discovered over 400 messages reclassified as comments in a hidden bucket. They go back months. What must all the authors have thought of us – apparently ignoring their carefully crafted supplications? Woe is us. Abject apologies. Given the time lapse, some of you may even have forgotten you asked for the newsletter. If your libido has become a casualty of the passing months, please feel free to click on the ‘unsubscribe’ button. Was it Samuel Johnson who meant to say ‘when one is tired of Radlett Parties, one is tired of life’?
If you are a single guy wanting to join us on the Fridays, please email Janet on email@example.com attaching a photo and giving your name, age and anything you think makes you special. If you had questions, please direct them afresh to the same email address.
Newsletter statistics. This month over 10% of openers were in America or Canada so expect an imminent trans-atlantic invasion. Nearly 30% of the 1524 recipients opened the newsletter. Many broadcasters would give their right arm for that figure, but we need to do better. Countless of you say you are not getting it when your address is on the list. It would be appreciated if you each took a moment either to unsubscribe or tag our address to prevent it going through the colon of your junk mail box. The record number of openings was a wrist-spraining 72! Someone needs to tell him that there is far more explicit pornography available online than Janet’s arse!
On that subject (the buttery brown logo aka Janet’s arse), we were amused to have one web site facilitator write to us concerned that the logo did not feature the hostess. Wrong – the Radlett Parties logo is authentically home produced and photographed by my good self. Eat your hearts out professional photographers! I might load some other photos I took in the same session to the gallery one day. We were similarly amused to hear of more than one lady claiming she was the model. Also flattering to see lesser promoters now featuring their own hostess’s anatomy in Janet’s slip stream. Keep up wannabes!
Phone number change. 01923 859043 is no longer. If you have stored it anywhere, please substitute 07986 288580. If your call is not picked up, please text rather than voice message. Talking to people can aggravate my latent Asperger’s syndrome, so my therapist urges me to relay to you all that text is preferred anyway.
Human smorgesbord. We have been asked to revive the practice of a lady concealing grapes about her naked person, amidst whipped cream, bananas etc. for a lingual treasure hunt. The winner is the person to present the well hidden red grape on their tongue. If you or your partner would enjoy that type of attention, do let us know.
Anonymity. One of the reasons that we don’t get much royalty at the parties is that some potential revellers are put off by being recognised. If, Ma’am, you are in that category, you might find interesting the following message from me to a similarly disposed couple (are you sure Phillip is up to all this?):-
“Thanks for your email. I know how it is being so famous. After each TV documentary we do, strangers accost us in the street for our autographs. Tough job, but someone has to do it.
Alternatively you could out yourselves. It is illegal to disadvantage anyone for any legal sexual preference or activity. Watching people have sex is in that category. I can supply a template letter to Janet’s employer’s HR department the day the last TV documentary went out. As a result of that letter she was summoned to the manager to be instructed to let them know of anyone who made her feel uncomfortable about her famous broadcast so they could discipline them in line with their mandatory sexual tolerance policy.
Photography by guests is disallowed at our parties out of respect for guest’s privacy. That includes by smart phone, though we are not draconian enough to confiscate phones if seen in use solely for texting – we realise some guests need to be accessible by baby sitters etc. However, we realise that some guests often like photographs of themselves, especially when they have gone to considerable effort and expense to dress up. With this in mind we have retained an in-house photographer for the themed parties. His purpose is two-fold. Firstly, to take photos of guests at their request. These will be emailed to them free of charge with the identity of any background people suitably obscured. They will of course need to leave him with an email address! Secondly, to take photographs that can be used to promote future events so that guests get ever fuller parties with thereby more choice of co-revellers. These are genery wide-angle shots and will have any recognisable faces or features obscured before they are used publicly. Any people who might be identifiable by unique traits or features – such as being eight feet tall – will have their express permission sought beforehand.
Frequently asked questions. Everyone else has one and we hate to be left out. We hope you find this addition to the site informative if not a little jocular.and amusing.
A couple of years ago we extensively renovated our once “water-filled muddy field” for easy parking of up to another 50 cars. It has been a long time since we last called out the AA to come and rescue a “damsel in distress”.. However, the snow and icy conditions recently have caused a few problems, so we ask party revellers to not park in areas not permitted because watery patches on the field. Usually 4 double bedrooms are made available for associative therapy and include a very large 3-double bedded dark room, a chilling out room, use of our en-suite bedroom with cinema screening videos, a walk in shower for those revellers who get hot! and a very private personal play room….for those who wish to enjoy it!
You should bring 50% more drink than you would normally take to a party – this much fun really is thirsty work. The local police know of the format and have assured us that they have no concerns in their professional capacity. Some years back a pestrian flagged down a police car to complain of cars parked on the pavement. This is technically an offence which the police normally ‘turned a blind eye to’, but must now ‘do their job’, so park in the field behind the house next to the tennis court where there is space for 100 cars.
Attendance profile drifts with time, but the average age seems currently to be around 35. There is no restriction on upper age or physique, but it has been many months since we saw any one who had lost pride in their appearance. The dress code is usually aimed at “come dressed to impress!” Smart attire for guys, no jeans, tee-shirts, trainers or baseball hats…for women sexy lingerie, cocktail dresses, all encouraged…Theme nights can vary but not everyone needs to adhere to a theme night dress code..as long as they appreciate those who have made the effort to do so…and come with a smile and a sense of humour!
In spite of Janet giving enormous effort to put first timers at ease, the only negative feedback we had over many years wasrom a couple who left ‘confused and disappointed’ because no one had engaged them. They asked if we could place a manual of engagement on the wall. Could revellers please take a modicum of responsibility for their own interactions? A safe ice-breaker is to ask a couple nearby what their preferred approach protocol is, or a simply “Hi” would help. The concept of “speed-dating” at parties has proved an endless source of fun and laughter and this always creates a wonderful light-hearted atmosphere. The documentaries, now free to watch on Netflix, “The Real Wife Swop” and Channel 4 “Jon Richardson grows up” have both been a pleasurable experience for us to participate in and to show the enormous amount of pleasure that this lifestyle can bring to others. Janet and I thank you for all your wonderful comments and support in what we set out to achieve years ago when “Swinging” was not really accepted, although the Swinging 60’s and 70’s were around long before many of us were born….However, this has resulted in not only putting our village on the map around the world and endless debates in social circles and dinner parties as well as down in the pubs, we have been able to encourage many others to join in the fun! Perhaps it’s time to do another documentary? Or a book! Watch this space…