Radlett is the UK's best established and popular swinging house party venue. Perfect for newbies and experienced swingers alike. Read the site then call us on 07986 288580 with any unanswered questions.
Radlett Parties Newsletter June 2018 – a ‘must open’ issue
Includes: human fruit bowl trailer; more midsummer ball detail; the latest iconic bum; the template letter to thwart employer vicimisation; how to use a paper bag
Much of this material will also be uploaded to http://www.radlettparties.net for those who prefer our website to newsletters. Also, because readership falls well short of 100% each month, (31% last month to be precise) matters of lasting relevance stay in the newsletter more than one month (with some modifications, so no lazy skipping paragraphs!).
Upcoming party reminders for those indisposed to trawl web sites:
Friday 22nd June Pre-approved single guys allowed. M has asked to be our human fruit bowl – exercise your tongue muscles! A must for cunning linguists.
Saturday June 23rd Afternoon from 3pm ‘Kestrels (some have said Hedonism even) comes to Radlett’. Barbecue. Explore 3 acres. Hot pool. Hot tub. Tractor rides. Cosy estate corners for associative therapy. Rum punch/pimms until it runs out. Juggler. Magician. Salubrious co-revellers.
From 9:30pm: Midsummer ball. Longest Saturday of the year. Rum punch or Pimms for the early arrivals. Smart dress (between black tie and suited but you might want to bring more frivolous for later). A bottle of fizz for the couple judged most lavishly turned out, another for the judges, another for the most help at the barbecue etc. Etc.. Play your cards right and we could be supplying most of the alcohol! Whole roast pig. Croquet lessons. Speed strip croquet. Internationally famous Kerri giving pole dancing exhibition followed by lessons. Later she will do her erotic floor show. Her current plans are to mingle thereafter without any need to rush off. £20 contribution toward barbecue alone, £50 for the evening, £60 for both.
Saturday June 30th Black Woman’s Fan Club – in celebration of the right royally tanned Duchess of Sussex
Friday 27th July Pre-approved single guys allowed.
Saturday 28th July All comers except single guys. Optional theme: pantomime characters. Watch this space.
Pricing arithmetic and how to contribute less. During the years we have been throwing parties repairs and aquisitions dedicated to the parties has totalled some £250,000. Surveyors tell us that our home is worth some £400,000 less than had we not thrown parties. We have welcomed just over 30,000 guests in the same period. So the average guests causes some £20 degradation to the fabric of our home. Throwing in the direct costs of food, energy etc. we subsidise most parties which we don’t mind while people are appreciative and help bring their socio-sexual lives our way, leaving us lazily to leave others with all the effort of travel.
However, there has been a resurgence of loyalty recently and we have been trying to think of ways to soften the financial discourgement some people still feel. The damage is mostly done by new people who are not used to the extensive furnishings and equipment. Thus we can justify knocking £10 off for any couple, lady or single guy who can demonstrate that they came to a party here in each of the previous two months. Just say the words ‘hat trick’ at the door. Enjoy. That still leaves three weekends a month for people to slum it at lesser venues!
Barricading bedroom doors. If you are ashamed of who you have ended up with in a bedroom here, your options are: a) put a paper bag over the culprit’s head; b) issue paper bags to the rest of us in case their bag falls off; c) remove yourselves to the blacked out room where no one will recognise either of you; d) make an excuse to dash downstairs then get someone else (to avoid rancour best to return to a different room!); e) switch your next outing to one of the warehouse venues that has been internally structured like a Mexican brothel with purpose built lockable shag-cabins. This is a home – not a brothel. There is no option f) to barricade the door which has led to wrecked decor and smashed coffee tables.
‘Goodness gracious – great balls of Radlett’. People are not knocking at our neighbours’ doors as often now when lost, so this notice will be shelved next month. As extra ‘belt and braces’ to reduce incidence of that happening, on party nights a pair of spheroids will be suspended at our gate in the Radlett brand colours – red and black. Please do not call at any house not showing any balls. Commit the following view to memory, or the really thorough can print off a picture to glue to their car windscreen for indentification:
The spheroids of Radlett
A HUGE WARM WELCOME TO Refugees from the flightpath bungalow (last showing)
We have been inundated by escapees who are asking whether we can match the sandwiches and throwing out time of their demised venue. Last party lots of the refugees discovered these delights first hand and threaten to bring their fellow refugees next time. The site picture gallery shows some of Sheryl’s award winning culinary craftsmanship. Several revellers have commented that the paltry door contribution is less than they would expect to pay for such food alone – let alone the ambience of a £5m home, pool, sauna, dungeon etc. Here the parties last as long as the last guest – sometimes Tuesday. There is a real risk that we will have to turn people away so if you are one of the refugees, be decisive. The Travel Lodge, The Premier Inn, Ibis Hotel are nearby in Elstree and Borehamwood for easy access to the venue. The Red Lion continues to break the law by discriminating against swingers.
Ps: We have heard that another refugee destination is waiving annual membership charge to the fugitives. What is a membership charge? Is that what commercial venues need to do?
Radlett’s amateur image We have been described as the aswinging scene’s best kept secret and asked why we seem such amateurs and don’t advertise. The good reason for this is that we are amateurs. None of the team take any earnings from the parties. Janet and I running 16 and 18 year old cars respectively should evidence that. You will occasionally see some dust on the shelves as one would in any home in the land. But what you won’t see on any of our material is glamorous stock shots lifted from a commercial gallery designed to evoke some vicarious eroticism. Virtually all the pictorial material is photographed here. Radlett Parties are exactly what is described on the tin. At least salute us for our honesty.
Kestrel Refugees. Several people have rued to us the loss of day time chill out around a pool. We have here the nearest unoverlooked grounds to London. The three acres have been described as the Garden of Eden with its predisposition to nakedness and the quiet and colourful corners. Can anyone well connected to these dispossessed please make contact to discuss if anything can be done?
This newsletter circulation. Many people still tell us they do not get this newsletter. If you encounter this complaint please share the following with the isolated victim. Mailchimp tell us that many spam filters are set by default to an overly cautious setting. I am ill equipped to loosen the threshhold on my own spam filter so am not in a position to advise on others’. First try loosening up your filter. Failing that those wanting to know the dates of upcoming parties have other options: Couples only parties are the fourth (not always the last) Saturday of every month; dates are posted to http://www.radlettparties.net; the next party is almost always at the heading of our fab swingers profile. To spoonfeed any more would be to patronise!
Gender balance on Friday parties. Take 2. The guys have been brought under some semblance of control. Next management project is the ladies. How can we disavow these lovely people of meaningless sociosexual diaries from which a commitment is all but worthless? They seem to believe it is their heaven sent entitlement to ignore whatever they have committed to do and reschedule a distraction at the last minute. Ideas please. Are the suffragettes to blame?
If you read absorbed and acted upon last month’s newsletter, the following can be skipped!
Postscript to the 3CR YouTube interview. It is over 3 years since Jonathan Vernon-Smith of 3 Counties Radio interviewed me for broadcast. His YouTube interview can still be found with the tag ‘JVS discovers swinging’. However, perhaps because his audience is mostly housewives, he demurred from uploading the more powerful material. We have recreated the missing Q & A’s on YouTube here:- ‘ Richard Stanley INTERVIEW PT 1’
and here:- ‘Richard Stanley INTERVIEW PT 2’
I’m not sure that they will win me a place at theological college, but stranger things have happened. I am however expecting to be invited to address next years Parrot Fanciers Convention!
Iconic Bums. Rising to the challenge of the author’s photo of Janet’s bum on the iconic RP banner, our professional party photographer has offered to photograph same for any lady that asks. Unless the sitter has an obviously unique figure, the pose would be totally anonymous. The lady can choose what to do with the result. Options include a guest appearance on our next banner, being posted to the site gallery headed ‘slip into something hot’ or just keeping it to herself. We can supply the baby oil and a private room for the shy ones.… Herewith a willing example:
Human fruit bowl. We have been asked to revive the practice of a lady on the dinner table concealing grapes etc. about her naked person, amidst whipped cream, bananas etc. for a lingual treasure hunt by the other guests. The winner is the person to present the well-hidden red grape on their tongue. If you or your partner are cunning linguists and would enjoy that type of attention, do let us know. Update: One Michelle enjoyed the life changing experience of her first Radlett party so much that she has insisted on taking on this role for June 22nd. She has asked us to circulate the following trailer:
Themes. After two years of non-stop themes, the message from our regulars was that four themed parties per annum is the best compromise. These are usually NYE Masquerade Ball, Valentines, Halloween and Back to School. We hear murmurings that you might enjoy more. The few permanent members of the frivolity council are pretty much fully stretched on maintaining the facilities and fabric of the venue, the food and social media. Please step forward any couple who have an idea for a theme that they can manage to fruition. Any props necessary will be cheerfully funded. You would be awarded the status of honorary members of the frivolity council!
Update: A and A are combining energy with Sheryl to bring ‘Pantomime’ to Saturday July 28th. Think Cinderella, puss in boots, jack and the bean stalk, snow white etc. Etc. Bottle of fizz to the couple voted most entertaining.
We had two suggestions – military uniform awaits mass support and people to drive the whole programme. We will reimburse pe-agreed purchases, but need the suggesters to make all the running.
Radlett Parties Secret Facebook. Sometimes we have stuff to communicate that the great unwashed are not yet ready for! Contact Janet if you want to be enrolled, by text only, please, giving your name(s) and e-mail address. As a general rule you must have been here consistently over several months and have athletic and accommodating sexual outlook. I conduct the medical – lol. One couple recently wanted to join before coming to any parties so they could contact our trusted regulars for a second opinion before deciding to come! That did not, and is not going to happen.
Keep your job letter Several people have expressed concern that their employers might learn of their sexual vibrancy and thereby inhibit if not curtail their careers. The law has changed to make that illegal. Janet was similarly concerned that she would lose her practice management job when the last documentary was broadcast. Without telling her I wrote to her employer’s HR department as if from her. She was duly called in, shown my letter and told to report any member of staff who made her feel embarassed about the documentary so that they could be disciplined. For faint hearts who need to stop hiding in the shadows and anyone feeling victimised for attending Radlett parties, here is the letter to use as a template to vanquish old fashioned employers:
To NHS HR department
I am proud to work for a trailblazing employer in the matter of sexual tolerance. The NHS has led the way in ensuring that employees are not disadvantaged through any sexual preferences or choices. Unless someone makes clear to me that I am excluded from this tolerance, I shall be considering the following request from Channel 4.
Some years back channel 5 approached my partner and me to film a documentary on the adult parties we run. They were delighted to get 16% of the viewing public when it was broadcast. At the time I had a strong patient interface role as a practice manager in Harley Street. Neither of my eminent Doctor bosses nor any of our patients expressed anything but support and pleasant surprise. We got a box of chocolates each but were told that Channel 5 revenued £85,000 each showing. We learned of 16 such airings in 5 countries plus being shown on QANTAS flights back from Australia. Channel 4 have now approached us to be in the follow up to ‘eight cats out of ten…’ on the relationship between non-monogamy and happiness. I assume that my career here, such as it is, will not be impacted by any choice I make in this matter.
In this instance, I look forward to not hearing from you!!!
Photography by hosts or guests is disallowed at our parties out of respect for guest’s privacy. That includes by smart phone, though we are not draconian enough to confiscate phones if seen in use for texting – we realise some guests need to be accessible by baby sitters etc. However, we accept that some guests often like photographs of themselves, especially when they have gone to considerable effort to dress up. With this in mind we retain an in-house photographer for the themed parties. His purpose is two-fold. Firstly, to take photos of guests at their request. These will be emailed to them free of charge with the identity of any background people suitably obscured. They will of course need to leave the photographer with an email address! Secondly, to take photographs that can be used to promote future events so that guests get ever fuller parties with thereby more choice of co-revellers. These are generally wide-angled views and will have any recognisable faces or features obscured before they are used publicly. Any people who might be identifiable by unique features – such as being eight feet tall – will have their permission sought beforehand.
We realise several of our guests are quite open about their participation in the swinging lifestyle. If this is the case, please let us know if you are happy for your image to be used either in private online groups e.g. Fabswingers and secret Facebook groups or secondly on publicly available content such as the Radlett Parties website. Thanks!
We hope, nay EXPECT, to see you soon!
Janet and Richard
Contact us by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org
or by text to (07986) 288580
Please view our website at http://www.radlettparties.net for the answers to most questions.
An unusual but humbling review. Stop dithering newbies!
Last month a party saved my life (no not a dj)
I got to 38 with only 5 sexual partners (mostly regretted) and had not had sex for over a year. I had children amidst some traumatic marital dynamics so had resigned myself to a downhill rest of life. Browsing the sites (as one does) I discovered sex parties and research of the reviews and sites pointed me to Radlett. It took days to summon the courage but the month since making contact has been the best month of my life. Enjoying sex without any sense of guilt or being judged, walking around butt naked and clocking up firsts at a dizzying rate has completely reset my expectations of how much fun life can be. My therapist has discharged me as no more in need of treatment and my anti-depressant regime is ramping down to zero rapidly. Thank you so much Radlett. I want to put something back so have asked to be the human fruit bowl next week and take questions from any other single ladies not yet courageous enough to take the leap that saves lives.
April 2018 -Newsletter coming soon!